


I Need a Lift

by gatoradeeh7x3



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Gen, IDEK How Tags Work, It really isn't that bad, Sibling Bonding, They're both stubborn, allison and vanya are the voices of reason, but also angsty?, diego is a sheltered mama's boy, grace might volunteer for madd, kind of comedic, klaus just wants to dance, majority of the story is them as sixteen, the description makes it sound so serious, they're dumb teenagers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 02:53:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18023396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatoradeeh7x3/pseuds/gatoradeeh7x3
Summary: Diego refuses to drive a drunk Klaus to a party, and trouble ensues.AKA Why Diego Will Always Give Klaus a Lift.





	1. Footloose

Diego was halfway out the door when a disheveled Klaus stopped him.

 

“Hey, where you going?” his brother sing-songed.

 

“Nope.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’m not giving you a ride,” Diego turned to face him in the hopes that this would get the message through the drug-induced fog in Klaus’ mind.

 

It clearly didn’t.

 

“Oh, come onnnnn, man,” Klaus whined.

 

Diego didn’t care. He wasn’t about to be stuck in a closed metal box with a brother who smelled like a chemical experiment gone wrong.

 

At least, not until Klaus pulled out his trump card. “You know I can’t drive,” he said meaningfully.

 

“I don’t care!” Diego tried to respond, but his voice broke halfway through his reply.

 

And they both knew exactly what he was remembering.

 

~~~

 

“I don’t care!” a sixteen-year-old Diego yelled at his same-age-but-much-less-mature brother.

 

“Pleaaaaase,” Klaus pleaded, “I have an urge to dance that cannot be contained. Every second that you hesitate, a part of me deep inside breaks trying to repress my spirit. Do you want that for me? Do you?”

 

Diego rubs his temples to stave off an incoming migraine that he was much too young to be having. “Let me get this clear. You want me to drive you to a party in the middle of the night with god-knows-who so that you can…?”

 

“Cut loose. Footloose.” Klaus says in a monotone voice.

 

A beat. Diego attempts to process this entire ridiculous scenario.

 

“Kick off your Sunday shoes!” Klaus contributes helpfully, and loudly.

 

“Shut up!” Diego whisper-shouts in a panic, “We don’t want to wake up Dad!”

 

The two boys were hiding in a nook by the grand staircase. Diego had been heading up to bed from his after-dinner knife practice when Klaus had forcibly grabbed him, covering his mouth to mask his yells. If only he was making the same effort to maintain silence now.

 

“What are you going to do, give me another shiner?” Klaus said ruefully, rubbing at the slowly darkening spot on his right eye.

 

“You should be proud of me for practicing safe self-defense techniques when you basically assaulted me,” Diego retorted.

 

“I am proud! So proud, I want to show you off to all my new friends. Come on, drive me!” he said.

 

Never let it be said that Diego wasn’t willing to negotiate a ride for new knives. “What exactly will I get out of this arrangement?”

 

Klaus batted his lined eyes, “The gratification of my company?”

 

Diego didn’t even blink.

 

“Fine! I’ll polish your knives for the next month.” Klaus offered.

 

“How about you buy me a new set instead?”

 

“Awww, you know I don’t have the money for that!”

 

“If you weren’t always buying freakin’ poison, maybe you would!” Now Diego was the one whose voice carried.

 

There was an awkward silence that Klaus finally broke, “Hey, I’m sorry about our birthday and, you know...” the lack of any gift. At least his stoner of a brother looked apologetic about it, which he should. Diego knew for a fact that he and the rest of the Hargreeves siblings spent hours agonizing over what to get Klaus, only to receive nothing in return.

 

“Whatever,” Diego muttered resignedly, already turning to head up the stairs.

 

Klaus started after him, speaking quietly now. “I really am sorry, I just-, I can’t-, I need you to drive me.”

 

Diego gripped the banister, “Why? Why me? You have a license. We all do.” That was true, although Luther’s driving instructor had needed a little persuasion from Allison.

 

“Because I trust you?”

 

“Not good enough.”

 

“Fine. Because I pre-gamed.”

 

This was where Diego encountered an embarrassing problem. He didn’t know what pre-gaming was.

 

Even though they were sixteen, the Hargreeves siblings lived sheltered existences. Their only connections to the outside world were Pogo’s economics magazines and the radio pundits their Dad loved. Everything, down to the way their Mom was designed, screamed of a bygone era. No wonder why Five had been obsessed with time travel; they were all already living in the past. All except for Klaus and Allison, who made outside friends for either alcohol or social status (guess which one was which).

 

So no, Diego did not know what pre-gaming was. Nor would he humiliate himself in front of his brother by asking.

 

“So what?” he said. “That’s not my problem.”

 

Klaus’ forehead wrinkled in confusion. This was not the reaction he expected. “So you’re going to let me walk out that door with these keys?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And get behind a steering wheel?”

 

“Uh-huh.”

 

“And drive myself all the way to the other side of town?”

 

“What part of ‘yes’ are you not understanding?” By now, Diego had begun to suspect that pre-gaming had something to do with alcohol, but he had already dug himself too deep. Diego’s 16-year-old ego and stubbornness overcame his doubts.

 

Now Klaus looked positively mystified. “Okay, man. I guess you’re more chill than I thought you were. Good on you.”

 

Diego could do nothing but nod and play this new role he’d unwillingly cast himself in. “Yeah, dude. Have fun at the party.”

 

Klaus walked slowly and with uncertainty towards the door, casting looks every couple of steps back at Diego to see if he was joking, if this was all one big bluff and that his brother would call him back any second.

 

He didn’t, although by now, he was really starting to feel like he should.

 

Klaus stood at the door and with a final shrug, said, “Cool. I guess I’ll see you at breakfast then. Ummm, bye.”

 

And with that, he was out the door.


	2. Aftermath

As soon as Diego heard the engine roar, he clambered up the stairs and ran all the way to his sister’s bedroom, barely bothering to silence his footsteps. He burst into the room, freezing when he saw Vanya sat cross-legged on Allison’s bed, watching wistfully as her sister preened in front of the vanity.

 

He swore. “Does no one in this house believe in the value of a good night’s sleep?”

 

Allison raised an eyebrow at him in the mirror. “I don’t know, Dee, you’re the one who came into our rooms at- what time is it, Vanya?”

 

Vanya practically flung herself across the bed in search of a watch, desperate for her sister’s approval. Out of breath, she finally reported, “11:47 p.m. Actually, by now it’s 11:48.”

 

“Almost midnight,” Allison announces dramatically, as if auditioning for a role in a soap opera. “I’m truly disappointed, Dee. At least _I’m_ in my room.”

 

Vanya snickered at at Allison’s hoity-toity voice and was rewarded by an appreciative glance from her sister.

 

Diego interrupts the moment. “I have a question,” he says, with a sense of urgency that doesn’t lose itself on his audience. They turn to face him, now concerned.

 

“What’s up?” Allison asks, breaking character.

 

This sudden switch of focus onto Diego made him nervous and he realized just how awkward this conversation would be. Scratching the back of his head and looking down at his feet, he shifted his weight back and forth until he remembered that Klaus was out there somewhere, potentially in danger.

 

He cleared his throat, but he couldn’t stop his voice from breaking and giving way to a high-pitched squeak. “What’s pre-gaming?”

 

Allison and Vanya shared a look, and Allison let out a relieved laugh that broke the tension. “Why? Hasn’t living under the same roof as Klaus taught you the downsides of burgeoning alcoholism? Or are you hitting the party scene to find yourself a girlfriend?”

 

Vanya, reminded of her other brother, pipes up. “Where is Klaus anyways?”

 

Allison turns to Diego. “Yeah, did he leave for that party yet?”

 

“Mmm. Like two minutes ago.” Diego says.

 

Allison is confused. “But you’re still here. Must have been a nearby party if he didn’t bum you for a ride.”

 

“He did. I said no. He drove himself.” Diego can’t bring himself to get to the point, preferring that they discover it on their own.

 

They do.

 

Vanya gasps and Allison’s eyes widen as the pieces all click into place. Their objections fill the room.

 

“That’s drinking and driving!!!”

“Is that why you were asking about pre-gaming?!”

“Why didn’t he ask us to drive him?!”

“He could hurt himself!”

“He could hurt someone else!”

 

Diego lets all these concerns wash over him until he’s overwhelmed with dread at the powerlessness of their situation. While the girls go through every potential worst-case scenario, he falls silent, an ugly silence that implicates him.

 

Allison notices. “Why didn’t you drive him? How drunk did he seem? Maybe it’s not that bad.”

 

Diego gives a dark laugh that booms deep down from a part of him he didn’t even know he had. “It’s been years since we’ve seen Klaus sober enough to actually have a reference point to determine how bad this entire effed up situation is.”

 

Vanya offers quietly, “It doesn't matter. It’s bad.”

 

With that thought weighing over them, they huddle together and consider the possibilities. There were no other vehicles that they had access to, so they couldn’t catch up with Klaus. Only Five could have made up that kind of distance and he was gone. It wouldn’t matter anyways because none of them even knew which direction he travelled in or where the party was. They could wake up Luther, Pogo, and their parents, but that would only add unnecessary panic. Besides, that would be condemning their brother to a certain punishment of biblical proportions, and the three siblings all still harboured hope that Klaus was out there dancing the night away and posing no danger to anything except for his dignity.

 

It was nearing 1 o’clock before Allison and Vanya finally gave up trying to find a solution. Allison spoke for the two of them when she whispered, voice still strangled by fear, “We just have to wait it out.” Vanya nodded grimly in agreement.

 

None of them wanted to break the huddle of collective misery, but a loud snore from Luther’s room made Vanya squeak. With a final glance at them, she departed to her shoebox of a room where she’d likely burn a hole in the carpet from pacing worriedly. Diego knew that if it wasn’t the middle of the night, she’d have been playing her violin frantically to keep her mind off of the sensation of impending doom they all felt.

 

Now that it was just Allison and Diego, the former allowed herself to finally voice her anger and disappointment with Klaus’ willingness to endanger himself and others. Allison confessed, quietly, that she’d thought about using her powers on Klaus to get him to stop drinking and abusing drugs. However, they both knew that a sober Klaus had his own demons.

 

When Allison’s yawns grew closer together, Diego knew it was time to excuse himself. With a squeeze of her shoulder, he wished her a good night. She smiled sadly in return and told him, “It’s not your fault.”

 

If only he could believe it.

 

Diego didn’t even bother heading back to his room. At this point, getting caught strolling around in the middle of the night was the last thing he was worried about. He resigned himself to a night of sitting in the foyer on the steps, staring at the chandelier and trying not to imagine Klaus’ corpse lying in a morgue somewhere.

 

His stomach grumbled. He wasn’t sure if his body was looking for something to eat or reacting to being eaten up by guilt. Klaus used to joke that they could feel each other’s pain like any other twins (or septuplets) do. When Diego was about to faint in anticipation of his first-ever tattoo with his siblings, Klaus smiled that toothy grin and assured him, “Don’t worry! We’ll be matching now!”

 

_What a match_ , Diego thought now. The boy who hated needles and the boy who found comfort in them (and their contents).

 

Diego walked down the grand staircase, wondering how he would look his mother in the eye when she found out he let anything happen to his brother.

 

Then, a hand shot out and grabbed Diego for the second time that night, pulling him into the nook once more.

 

Klaus.

 

Diego didn’t even hesitate to punch him in the other eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed... Klaus is back next chapter, and he has a lot of explaining to do!
> 
> <3


	3. Lessons Learned

“Where’d you go? Do we need to call someone? Where’s the car? Did you hurt someone? Did the police catch you?” All of the questions that had invaded his brain for the last (and longest) sixty minutes of his life were finally being forcibly evicted from his mouth. 

 

“I didn’t go anywhere. I drove the car like two metres before coming back.” Klaus said sheepishly. “Although the police part came close.”

 

Diego didn’t even want to know. His brother was back. Allison and Vanya were going to be so relieved. 

 

“Hey, Dee, you okay? You look a bit constipated, like you’re about to lay an egg or-”

 

Klaus was interrupted by his brother pulling him in for a tight embrace. His face relaxed from shock into something more calm, more settled. He pouts. 

 

“Aww, you were worried about little ol’ me. Honestly, if you were going to miss me that badly, you might as well have just come with.”

 

The hug got ten times tighter, until it became more painful than intimate.

 

“Owww, owww, owww! That hurts!”

 

“Good,” Diego grunted. “Because now that the brotherly moment’s over, you need to explain yourself.”

 

“Why I came back?”

 

A nod.

 

“Alright, so hear me out. I figured that if I died because of a drunk driving accident, our Robo-Mom would have to join MADD and.... well, just stop and think about how horrifying that would be.”

 

An image of Grace with her head on backwards, brandishing a broom against under-the-influence drivers did have both comedic and sobering properties, but this wasn’t the time to be thinking about potential MADD rebranding efforts. “What did you do for the last hour, then?”

 

“Well, I had to get you this.” Klaus tosses Diego a bag resting on the side table that he hadn’t noticed before in his panic. 

 

Diego opens the brown bag and the wonderful smell of an Oreo Cheesecake donut wafted upwards. His stomach, which had been grumbling before, now sounded like a V12 engine revving at the starting line. 

 

“Donuts?”

 

“I know it’s not much but… happy birthday?” 

 

Diego was glad he had already stuffed the donut in his mouth because it saved him from saying something sappy he’d probably regret later. 

 

They stood there for a while, Klaus’ mouth pulling at a smile as he watched Diego devour the donut. 

 

“I guess you were hungry,” he said. 

 

“Yeah, thinking you almost killed your brother can do that to you.”

 

Klaus frowns. “Hey, no. Don’t. Listen, I do messed up shit because I’m a messed up person. You just have the misfortune of being the person I like to drag into my mistakes.”

 

“You didn’t this time, though.” Diego pointed out. 

 

“Huh?”

 

“Do messed up shit.”

 

“Yeah, well.” 

 

“I’m proud of you, man.”

 

“Hmph. What  _ exactly _ did I get out of doing the right thing, though? This night gave me two black eyes, unwanted sobriety, and a police chase. I didn’t even get to dance!” 

 

“Wait, police chase?” Diego bites.

 

“How do you think I got the donut?” his brother smiles mischievously. Diego lets this pass. 

 

“Obvious theft aside, you actually made responsible and adult decisions tonight.”

 

Klaus waves his hand nonchalantly, dismissing the (sort-of?) compliment. “I wouldn’t have just been putting myself in the line of fire.”

 

Diego nodded. His brother was dumb, but not that dumb. “If you ever want a ride again and you’re drunk, just tell me. I don’t care if it’s almost two a.m. or whatever.”

 

“But... I totally did tell you. I said I pre-gamed!”

 

Diego feels his cheeks redden and he turns away to head up towards his room in the hopes that Klaus missed it. 

 

“Oh. My. God. You had no idea what pre-gaming was, did you? But now you do, right? Right?” Klaus called as he rushed to catch up. 

 

Diego sighed woefully as his brother slung an arm over his shoulder.

 

“Trust me. I’m never going to forget it.”

 

~~~

 

Fourteen years later, and he still hadn’t forgotten. Neither of them had. That may have had to do with the fact that Klaus abused his teenage brother’s naive  _ “always available” _ offer to this day. 

 

So while Klaus ran to get his things, Diego just rolled his eyes and smiled. 

 

Maybe they’d grab some donuts on the way. 

 

(They’d pay this time, though.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the support and love you've given me so far! I'm in awe at the fact that this brand new fandom is already so amazing. Season 2 needs to come soon! 
> 
> This chapter is kind of after-school special-y but you can't tell me Mr. Diego "My-body-is-a-temple" Hargreeves wouldn't take the opportunity to nag his brother about the idiocy of drunk driving. Don't do it, kids! ;)
> 
> (Note: MADD stands for Mothers Against Drunk Driving)

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! The beginning is from 1x05, when Diego gives in pretty easily to giving Klaus a ride. Wondered why, and this fic was born! 
> 
> Kudos and comments appreciated <3
> 
> (ps. I didn't know what pre-gaming was until I was like 17 so I may be projecting lol)


End file.
